How I Fell Out of Love

It’s over and admittedly, this was not the first time. I’ve reached an age where inevitably a few relationships just didn’t work out along the way. Falling out of love is par for the course in anyone’s life. But this time? I thought this relationship would last forever—that it one would not disappoint and that we would grow old together happily, our lives intertwined.

It’s over, Apple.

Look, I’ve tried, really tried. I have tried to forgive the design flaws. The ugly camera lens that juts from the back of the iPhone and the weird white band on the back. There’s the terrible battery life which has me carting an extra battery pack (sometimes two) and don’t get me started on the countless vestigial cables that have less compatibility than oil and water.

(I will not even talk about the watch. Are they still making them?)

I’ve had an iPhone for ten years and I’ve been using Mac computers since the 1990s. Trouble had been brewing in paradise for awhile but it all went down hill with the earphone problem. In an effort to make a slimmer phone, the conical earbud port had to go. But I now need two pairs of ear phones: one for my phone and one for my computer. And there’s no adapter (I swear, look on amazon) to add a headphone jack!

I do admit: I’m a hypocrite. I used to criticize Microsoft and its products, remarking on their ugly design, their intransigent rules and operation systems that functioned something like my way or the highway? Now, I need an IT specialist to figure out my iCloud everytime I sync my phone to my computer!

Apple, what happened? You were carefree, full of simple enthusiasm and easy to get along with. What happened to us? Where did we go wrong?

I miss you, Steve.

It is just too much baggage, Not emotional but physical: I go out I am carrying ten kilos worth of phone equipment and every time I have to go through the packing list:  battery pack? Check. Cord and charger? Check. Earphones for my iPhone? Earphones for my computer? Check, check. The ugly case I hate? Check. A valium and pain killer to get me through this technological hellscape? Check and check.

But the final straw? The new Apple HQ designed by Norman Foster. (This was coming: I’m an architect, what did you expect?) Maybe some of you think this is a marvelous piece architecture and don’t get me wrong, I strongly admire Norman Foster’s work but this headquarters is all wrong. It’s wrong on so many levels: anti-urban, anti-social, elitist, environmentally insensitive. And who has been spreading gossip that working millennials love open-concept spaces? You know what millennials love? Privacy.

Apple: you cannot be a forward-thinking company with backward thinking policy. I gave up Uber for Lyft and now I will have to give up Apple for Samsung. Sorry it has been grand but I just don’t love you anymore.

(except the AirPods, I’ll be keeping those)